About the Bastards

Bastards Inc. has been performing together since 2005 when we started our Thursday night show in the basement of the Cantab Lounge in Cambridge. The show became the casual epicenter of the boozy Boston Thursday night improv underground and, in 2008, moved to its new home at ImprovBoston.

For booking information or to request a performance slot at one of the Bastards shows, email us at info@bastardsinccomedy.com.

Pre Show Rituals

Superstitious T ShirtThere are a lot of preparations that go into every show whether it is for a singer, a dancer, an actor, or a comedian. Even though comedians do not have a lot of flashing lights and extreme stage props, there are still things to do to get ready before the show. The stage must be clean, the props that are required should be there, the comedian should be relaxed in that space, and more. All of these little pre show rituals are the key to success and it goes beyond the stage to where everyone gets ready to go in front of hundreds of people.

Pre-Show Staging

Mic Check Even though most comedians have a simple barstool to sit on and perhaps a table to put their water on, there are still things that have to be done right. Microphones have to be tested and clearly heard, stage lights have to be put in the right areas, and sound checks happen well before show time. If there is a prop that needs to be put on stage, it is also set out so that when the comedian is ready, they can simply pick it up. This depends on the comedian and the type of acts that they have planned, but overall, this is the easiest part of the show.

Freshening Up the Comedy

So Fresh So CleanA comedian that is on edge may not come across as funny as they want to. This defeats their purpose of making people laugh and a comedian who isn’t funny, isn’t really a comedian that people want to go see. Therefore, they have routines that are designed to relax them and get them ready for the stage. They go through their routine to make sure that they have it down, they relax, and may even nap a little before they go on stage. Most all of them enjoy taking a relaxing shower before they go out in front of their fans as well, which is why most comedy houses use the guide to double shower heads by Pro Shower Source when preparing dressing rooms. Then, immediately before show time, the comedians will have someone do their hair and makeup to ensure that they do not end up looking ghostly pale in front of the spotlights.

Let the Show Begin

Comedians have a great job. They have the ability to make people see the funnier side of life. It is something that we all need be more able to do. If a comedian is not happy or relaxed, they may not be able to make their fans see how funny life is. It is the same with their fans. Fans also need to be relaxed and receptive to the humor. Therefore, a good comedy show place has seating that is comfortable for everyone who is there to watch. These areas have to be clean and the ability to make people happy that they are there. This too is a part of the pre show ritual, but it continues throughout the show as well.

Rolling the Show on The Road

Audible Comedy TourAs a comedy show, we spend a lot of time on the road. Traveling from one area to another to see who we will meet on the other end is part of the fun, but it can become boring if you are not completely prepared with everything you could possibly need and a good sense of humor even after being crammed into the bus for days. However, rolling the show on the road is what we do and we love every moment of it; most of the time.


You may imagine that a traveling comedy tour is nothing but a good time. To us, it is long hours spent in close quarters with others. We enjoy it. We love our job and the places that we are able to see as we travel from coast to coast and back again, but loving it doesn’t mean it is easy. We give up a lot of conveniences and spend a lot of time trying to find items that make our life easier when we step off the bus.

Must Haves

Must Have WifiWe have a lot of things that we consider absolute necessities. Car chargers with multiple wires so that we can all charge up at the end of a day would be one thing and perhaps the most important one. From there, our Wi-Fi hotspot box, our own toiletry items, a GPS system, and anything else we can put into our bag of tricks. One thing that we have discovered that helps us do even more than pile up in the bus is to bring along our cooler with wheels. It allows us to take the drinks wherever we are so that we can spend at least the time between arrival and departure from a show, out of the van. It is something that we have also discovered works well for us during the slower times when we can venture out to the lake or stop to sightsee some beautiful area along our route and if you do not have Yeti Cooler Wheels on your cooler; we suggest you get some. It just makes life so much easier when away from home.

On to the Next Show

As we prepare to head out again, we look for new items to make it easier to enjoy our road trip. We have a lot of things to do before we head out and we have a lot of routes to plan. When you have show dates that mean you leave home for a month and stop only for a few hours at night; you have to spend time with family and friends before you go. Otherwise, we cannot be as happy as we should be for the people who expect us to give them a good laugh. We also think up new stories to tell people so that they have reason to laugh with us and then we can share those stories on the bus as we travel to try and keep each other lifted up. Often, our best stories are those about the kids and our spouses because they are what makes our travels worth it.

The Rise of Stand Up Comedy

People are nowadays are looking for good entertainment in their area. What is the best way to have fun? None other than visit a comedy bar.

comedyWhat is stand-up comedy? It is where a comedian performs a comic style performance in front of a live audience. It is not an easy task to be a successful comedian. You have to be witty and quick thinking when facing the audience.

As a performer or a comedian they are commonly known as

  • Comic
  • Stand-up comic
  • Stand-up comedian
  • Stand-up

When you visit a comedy theatre, you can see that the comedian perform funny jokes, stories, one-liners or special acts. Some comedians use music, magic tricks, props and other tools to amuse and entertain their audiences. They produce their acts or shows on CD’s, DVD’s and lately on media such as YouTube. These are aimed at people in other countries or people not fond of visiting the theatre. They can find these by searching the internet.

Rest assured when you visit comedy theatre, it will really lighten your mood. Surprise your loved ones with a trip to the theatre and all of you will really be having a good time. Sometimes stand-up comedians will use their audience and make fun of them, so don’t get offended by this act. One typical example is Jeff Dunham.

51QQSEB2BSLJeffrey Dunham or most commonly known as Jeff is an American ventriloquist and stand-up comedian. A ventriloquist is an act of stage craft in which a person can project his or her voice. They use a puppet or a dummy when doing this act. Jeff is very popular and he has visited a lot of countries to perform his shows. He uses the famous puppet named Achmed the dead terrorist and a few others. People who attends his show will have so much fun, even though he sometimes make fun of the people or even the country, they will still laugh about it.

So if you are planning to visit the comedy theatre, make sure that you won’t be easily offended. You can just have a good time and laugh with the crowd. After all it’s just a joke.

Being a stand-up comedian is quite hard because you will be facing live audience and their response to the performance is really important for the comedians act. As an audience, we expect to be well entertained. In this sense, comedians are always pressured to deliver funny speeches. Comedian like Will Ferrell has defined stand-up comedy as “hard, lonely and vicious.” It’s really not easy being a comedian. People have a lot of expectations from them. The artist should practice the comedy act before performing live.

Comedians usually perform their material while standing although there are comedians such as Bill Cosby who prefers to perform while sitting down. So it’s really up to the performer whether they will be bringing props, sit or stand. So if you feel lonely and bored at home, just go visit the comedy theatre near you.


All About Comedy

Self-Expression through Finding the Funnier Side of Life

Think about your life and it will not take you long to discover that the best part about it is laughing. People watch comedy TV to lighten the mood or to lessen the depression of their everyday life. People love to hear a funny joke or see a music video that has a little bit of comedy in it. There are people you may know who are always good for making you chuckle and now, even text messages can be made a little funnier.

What Makes You Laugh Out Loud?

Do you have a fondness for stand-up comedy? Do you have a comedian that appeals to you more? Perhaps it is the greatest ventriloquist of all time that you love the most? Whatever makes you chuckle, there is always something to laugh at. Whether it is a joke that is on television, in the movie theater or up on stage in your favorite night club. People everywhere love to make other’s day a little brighter with a lot of laughter.

What is your favorite funny movie moment? Do you like the slapstick comedy of a truly goofy movie parody type movie or do you prefer subtle adult humor filled moments within your movies? Maybe, in your own opinion, the best funny moments are those jokes that you are always sending to your buddies by using Kawaii emoticons.

Make Your Text Jokes Funnier

Everyone knows that simple text words can get boring. Even if you tell a joke, not everyone will be able to tell that you are joking with them by saying it. With that in mind, whether you are a non-stop joker through text or just enjoy texting little sarcasm here and there, kawaii bear emoticons and the Kawaii emoticons list can certainly get your point across. It is all a part of showing the world, or at least all of your friends, how you mean for them to take your cute little comments back to them.

With cute little bear emoticons, you can show a big grin or put on your party hat. You can show your buddies a little laughter or your significant other a whole lot of love. If you are mad, take the time to show it through your text. Perhaps a joke that someone has told you made you feel a little sick? Whatever the case, there is an emoticon that will add more life to the text on your cell phone.

Explore Your Emoticon Options

Bear emoticons are fun to play with, but they may not appeal to everyone. For the people who would rather not have the cute bears to play with, there are a variety of other things on the Kawaii emoticons list that you can try out for fun. There are unique and comical faces, there are balls, kittens, people, hearts, and alphabet letters for you to spell out your humor in. There are faces with flowers, faces with text, and even food items with faces on them.

With the Kawaii emoticons list, there is something for everyone to enjoy and a whole new variety in the way you send your text to your friends. Especially, the humor filled texts that you love so much. Perhaps with time, they will also send you some new ones to add humor to their otherwise boring texts.

Jillian Banks: A Breakthrough Goddess

Jillian Rose Banks is popularly known as BANKS is another rising star in the music industry. She is an American singer songwriter who is from LA, California. Her music is released under Harvest Records. At the age of 26 she now has a debut album called Goddess. Her official website is hernameisbanks.com. She started singing at age 15 and taught herself piano as a product of her feeling alone and helpless when she suffered the divorce of her parents. She could not express he emotions to her family and friends and instead expressed herself in music.


At first she used SoundCloud to share her music to the world and sites like AudioSpeakerGuide.com supported her work. She had a supportive friend who was able to pass her music among people in the industry who was able to make her music more appreciated. She Banks started working with Good years Recordings with her first single “Before I ever Met You” which was released February 2013. This song which was appreciated only by a few people in SoundCloud was now a sensation and was played in BBC Radio.

She received nominations from BBC and MTV late 2013. Her songs are said to capture the feeling of powerlessness in the world and the feeling of being lost.

Sleek Electronic RnB Music

Banks is not just another pretty face in the music industry but has talent in the music she creates. Her meticulously heartfelt lyrics combined with her carefully engineered music, she is able to reach not just SoundCLoud subscribers but a bigger stage. One of the things that makes you listen to her music on the loudest bluetooth speakers is her upper vocal register which sounds like a music goddess just waiting to conquer the RnB world. Her own style is waiting to be discovered not just by the US audience but can take the world stage as well.

She was named one of the artists to watch out for 2014 by iTunes. Her voice is magnetically addicting that critics are closely watching her go from a lonely helpless singer to an emotional RnB music goddess. Her fame is slowly rising and taking her to the top with nominations left and right over the web. Exposure from The Boston Globe and The Huffington Post escalates her stature more and lets her words and music be felt by all the other people who are “lost and powerless” in the world.

This rising star has all the emotion to share the world.What is common about this artist is their experience of being alone; their experience of not being loved.  A lot of people not only understand what they are singing about but also feel it deep within. Being able to relate to both these artists make the music world a small and yet connected world.

How I Lost Weight To Look Sexy On Halloween

Halloween was just around the corner and I knew what that meant. It was time to start shopping for a costume. Costumes for women in this day and age mean this is your one night to look super sexy and nobody is allowed to judge you. I’m not sure what happened to spooky and scary Halloween costumes but now even scary costumes mean sexy Freddy Krueger’s and such. The problem with this is that I had put on more weight in this past year than I care to mention. I’m not sure how I let it happen, but I guess three sodas a day and eating entire bags of potato chips at a time catches up with a person. There is always an option of plus size Halloween costumes, but that just made me feel worse. I’m not ready for plus size just set. I’m only 22 years old and I want to rock the hell out of a sexy peacock costume just like all of my friends. I knew it was time to do something about these unwanted love handles. I had just over one month to get to work on my body so that I could feel sexy and beautiful this Halloween.


I started by dropping the soda from my life completely. I just went cold turkey. I didn’t want to deal with that whole transition to diet soda, because honestly diet soda is terrible in my opinion and really not much healthier. In fact, many say it is worse. So instead, I just cut it out of my diet and replaced it with water only. I would sometimes squeeze a lime or lemon in my water, or soak it in cucumbers for a little extra flavor but no extra sweets or additives. After a week of feeling crappy, tired and getting headaches I felt so much better about myself and my body. I already started dropping a few pounds which was more motivation to keep going. In addition to the soda, I stopped buying junk food. I knew if it wasn’t in the cabinet it wouldn’t be a problem. The whole portion control thing doesn’t work well for me. If it’s there, chances are I’m going to eat it. So instead, I replaced bags of chips with almonds and apples. I started preparing my own meals, nothing too serious, but focused on baking or grilling my meat rather than frying. I cut back on fast food to 1-2 times per week. I still had pasta some nights, as well as potatoes. I didn’t want to do any sort of hard-core diet because I knew that would be something I couldn’t keep up with. Instead, I just made healthier choices.

I also started exercising more often. I’ve never been much of a gym person, but I made a point to do something active every day. Most often, that meant me swimming laps in my pool or jumping on the trampoline for an hour. I played tennis with my friend a few days of week in the evenings, or sometimes I just went for a long fast-paced walk while I yakked on my phone with friends or family. Just adding a little bit of activity to my routine had me feeling better about myself already, even if I still didn’t look like I wanted.

In 33 days, I managed to drop 11 lbs. This was just by cutting out soda and junk food, making healthier choices and adding a little bit of physical activity to my every day routine. This wasn’t some crazy diet that made me go off the deep end and gain even more weight when I went off like so many of these quirky diets do these days. It wasn’t a difficult mentality to maintain either. I made a few life changes and reached my goal to look and feel sexy just in time for Halloween and all of the parties that come with it. I didn’t even splurge on the candy like I usually do because I felt like a rock star in my costume.


How to Dress Sexy Into Your 30’s

It’s not too late to dress up even at your thirties or fifties. Fashion and trend are not only for the young people. Although, taste and style may change through the ages, sophistication must remain.

Fashion at 30s

Not too glamorous not very mature, fashion at 30s is a challenge to remain subtle in your clothing choices. It’s time to invest in something that would enhance your professional look whether you are a career woman or a stay-at-home mom. Some may begin to gain weight, so get some stuff that would suit you incredibly well. Stay away from junks from the roadside vendors. It’s wise to invest on pieces that last. Fill your closet with quality collections including handbags, shoes, blouses, casual dresses and good-fitting jeans.

Shirts and Blouses

Printed shirts with elusive texts and emoticons speak more of your teenage years. Give away those pieces to your little sister. Otherwise, clear out your closet and give it to charity organizations. Pick shirts which are simple like colored V-neckline or round neckline. Most stylish agree that these sort of shirts are the most flattering pieces for any woman. Plain colored shirts in pastel color or the typical white and black are great choices especially if you wish to add accents with coats or jackets.  These colors match well too with dark pants and accessories.

Choose small sleeves which do not pucker. Sleeves should remain neat and flat on the surface of your arms. Try to measure the length. It should be around three inches below the waistline to ensure comfort and convenience whenever you need to move around. The shirt edges should be enough to cover the waist at the mid hipline.

The Skirts

Once you reached the age 30, get a little bit higher hemline one to two inches above the knee. Skirts enhance women’s feminine nature. Explore the classic styles through fashion magazines or visit fashion sites for the latest clothing fad for the season. You may be even tempted to learn how to start a fashion blog to document your fashion and style.Experiment by combining different cuts and material. Why don’t you try tailoring a customized skirt that would surely complement your figure? Women at 30s should have the pencil skirt. It’s a slim fitting skirt which resembles a pencil. It is typically knee-length skirt designed with straight line from waist to the hemline. Some may have slits at the back or side. Another skirt style is the A-line skirt. Just how letter “A” looks describe its cut coming with a narrow waist line expanding through the hemline. Non-pleated dark colored skirts are best options if you wish to trick those fats off. Next, we have the wrap around skirt. This style mimics saris. It works like a drape with a waistband which closes at the side or front.

General Tips in Choosing the Right Skirt Length

Long skirts suit all ages and most body types. Choose skirt fabrics which appear slim-fitting at the hipline especially for women with smaller frames.  Knee-length skirts look good with short legs while mid-thigh skirts are indeed fabulous with elongated legs.

The Dangers of Florida Insects

Florida can be what seems like heaven to many of those whom are accustomed to spending their winters in the North of the United States. However, winter time in Florida can be unpleasant and even dangerous if precautions are not taken to prevent pesky insects. Although one may escape the frigid temperatures of say New York, they cannot escape the likes of mosquitoes, no-see-ums, and spiders. On the other hand, if properly prepared for, these insect can become almost a nonissue during anyone’s stay in Florida.


As almost everyone knows, mosquitoes can not only been annoying and painful, they can also be deadly. Mosquitoes can carry many different types of diseases including, malaria, dengue fever, and West Nile virus, all of which can be deadly if not properly cared for. As with many things in life, the best defense is a good offense, and this is definitely the case with mosquitoes. In other words, eliminating mosquitoes before they are able to breed and multiply is the best prevention towards mosquito issues. A few steps can be taken to help to reduce the likelihood of mosquitoes invading your precious space.

First, eliminate all standing water. Rain water that collects in buckets, ponds, recessed areas, can all be breeding grounds for mosquitoes. By eliminating as much standing water was possible is essential to signaling to mosquitoes that they are NOT welcome. If a pond or standing water is part of your home, and likely to be an aesthetically pleasing addition, you’ll have no option to drain or eliminate the standing water. However, by adding a pump or fountain to keep the water moving will reduce the likelihood that mosquitoes lay eggs in that body of water.

Second, install a propane mosquito trap or deploy a mosquito fogger system. Many people are not aware of either of these options but they can be especially effective towards the reduction of mosquitoes. Propane mosquito traps and mosquito foggers work in very different ways, but have the same effect. The propane mosquito trap works by emitting a constant stream of carbon dioxide as well as an attractant. Mosquitoes are attracted to warm plums of carbon dioxide, as this is the signal for a nice juicy meal, likely from a human! The trap is attached to a propane tank which is warmed up and emits C02. This stream coupled with a mosquito attractant such as Lurex or Octenol, lures the mosquitoes towards the trap. As the mosquitoes get closer and closer to the trap, they are sucked up by a vacuum and are then forced into a bag. The mosquito is then left in the bag to dehydrate and ultimately die.

81kr2j+a-+L._SL1500_The mosquito fogger on the other hand works in one shot applications. A few times a year, usually early in the mosquito season, the fogger will apply a heavy layer of fog which contains mosquito killing chemicals to yards and wooded areas with the goal of wiping out a mosquito population. This application should be applied multiple times throughout the mosquito season as the mosquito population can replenish, thus needing an active combat towards them. While in Florida, if staying in coastal towns that are notorious for mosquito problems, visitors may notice mosquito control trucks driving around in the nighttime hours. These trucks usually will make weekly or monthly rounds in the heart of mosquito season spread anti-mosquito chemicals. These trucks have a very similar effect to the mosquito fogger.

Last but not least, being proactive in the application of mosquito/bug repellent before leaving the house is an excellent last ditch effort to prevent mosquito problems. Many people dislike the application of bug spray as it is usually sticky and stinky or worse yet, both. However, without it, one makes themselves vulnerable to mosquitoes and no-see-ums.

As with propane mosquito traps, many visitors to Florida are not familiar with no-see-ums. It doesn’t take long during the heart of the winter in the Florida, especially around the dusk and dawn hours to be rudely introduced to the no-see-ums. No-see-ums, as properly titled, are very small insects which may also be referred to as a sand gnat. As mentioned, they are very tiny and very hard to see, hence the name no-see-ums. Although, no-see-ums are not as well known to carry deadly viruses, they are super annoying, and very painful. After a few hours outside exposed to no-see-ums, a person can expect to look like they have just contracted chicken pox. Maybe that is a little bit of an exaggeration, but no-see-ums do leave tiny little read dots all over one’s body which are extremely itchy.

Unfortunately, the steps outlines above do not have the same effect towards spiders. However, as with mosquitoes, the best defense towards spiders is a good offense. Cleaning frequently, inside and outside, ensuring the elimination of spider webs will help to reduce the number of spiders congregating. There are a few spiders in Florida in which visitors must be aware of. The Carolina Wolf Spider and the Red Widow are the most dangerous and should be avoided at all cost.

By following the simple steps outlines above, visitors to the sunshine state of Florida, can help to ensure their trip is safe and hopefully pesky insect-free. Avoiding outdoor activities during the dawn and dusk hours, when possible, will be your best bet to avoid these insects. However, also ensuring to apply mosquito repellant is the best sure-fire way to help reduce bug bites.